Harvard Business Review contributors Tony Schwartz and Emily Pines of the Energy Project warn that at all times, we have two selves operating simultaneously.  There’s the self governed by our pre-frontal cortex.  It controls executive brain functions like planning and strategy. It’s calm, measured and rational.  This is the self of which we are most aware.    Our other […]

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At all times, two parts of our brain are governing how we behave.  We’re aware of the rational, deliberate self that is ruled by the prefrontal cortex.  But the threat protector, ruled by the amygdala, reacts beneath the surface causing us to lash out inexplicably.  That self is enabled by the inner lawyer, which rationalizes, deflects and blames.  […]

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Procrastination can be a challenge.  Most of us have something we tend to hate doing and, therefore, put off. In a recent New York Timesarticle, Charlotte Lieberman shared insight from several experts on the subject. They surmised that procrastination is not a matter of poor time management or laziness.  Its roots are emotional. Members of the Procrastination Research Group […]

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Didn’t get that promotion or great job for which you had applied?  New York Times Smarter Living Editor Tim Herrera says it’s okay to feel bad about it, but don’t get stuck there. Here are some ways he says you can reframe and grow. Stop obsessing about “what if” by writing down three things that recently […]

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As a leader, it’s okay to admit that you have feelings.  Sometimes it’s even good to share those feelings with your team.  But the Harvard Business Reviewsays there’s a thin line between showing you’re vulnerable and over sharing.  Here are five ways to manage yourself. Figure yourself out.  Learn to recognize the signs that it’s time to hit the emotional […]

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In an HR Magazine Q&A with Edward Hess, co-author of “Humility is the New Smart, Rethinking Human Excellence in the Smart Machine Age,” says, how well employees learn continuously and relate to others will become the great differentiator.   He points to increasing automation and cheap — or often free — access to information.  He says that the traditional […]

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The kind of environment we work in plays a big role in job satisfaction.  Yet, that environment is largely controlled by another person:  your manager, or someone at or near the top of the org chart.  If they’re supportive, job satisfaction soars. Forbes.com says this is especially true for millennials. If you’re one of the people at or […]

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Researchers at University of California, Davis set out to answer an age-old question:  what makes an emotionally healthy person? They looked at what’s called the “big five” personality traits to see where healthy people landed.  Those traits are neuroticism, extraversion, openness to experience, agreeableness and conscientiousness.  They also identified facets of these traits, which added specificity. The experts […]

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I bet you still have parties, dinners, drinks and drop-bys on your holiday social calendar. Whether it’s a company-sponsored event, a colleague-hosted gathering, or a party with family and friends, put your best foot forward. Steer clear of “too many” and “too much.” Too many bad jokes. Too much heated political debate. Too many misplaced […]

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One of the behavior patterns I’ve worked on with many leaders is their need to be right and show others that they have all of the answers.  They know more and best. Insisting on being right is alienating. It turns others off. After all, if you’re always right, that automatically makes others wrong. Artist and […]

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Report after report reminds us how important it is to be self-aware. One of the foundational components of Emotional Intelligence, self-awareness enables us to know our triggers, and what it takes for us to open our minds to new and different experiences and people. To become more self-aware, regularly, take a few minutes to connect […]

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Increasingly, I find people are asking me what they can do to become more self-aware. I love to field such questions, because self-awareness is valuable. It’s a key foundation of emotional intelligence. One strategy I often suggest is to focus less on what’s going on around them, and tune in more to what is going […]

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When it comes to the genuinely confident, their journey is one of satisfaction and – yes – better pay.   That’s according to Dr. Travis Bradberry, co-author of “Emotional Intelligence 2.0.” He says genuinely confident people earn more and are promoted more quickly. Part of their success comes from their ability to look within for inspiration. […]

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Do you feel bombarded by information and opinions? Are you overwhelmed by the media, colleagues, friends, family, and sometimes total strangers imposing their point of view on you? We’re told how to think and feel about work, our wardrobe, our weight, the company we keep, politics, our extracurricular activities, and so on. Amidst the noise, […]

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 Are you struggling to stay positive in what may feel like a negative world? Negative energy can manifest itself in damaging ways that we don’t always recognize. Here are some suggestions that might help you turn that negative energy into something more positive. If you’re engaged in a contentious conversation, avoid being critical of […]

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According to Merriam Webster, microaggression is defined as “a comment or action that subtly and, often unconsciously or unintentionally, expresses a prejudiced attitude toward a member of a marginalized group.” Often, the action is so subtle and habituated that the perpetrator does it without even realizing it. Microaggressions land hard on the people they’re being […]

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It’s tempting to respond to someone’s angry rant or accusation with something even more incendiary.   But that will only lead to an escalation and move you further away from a resolution. Instead, it’s better to say, “Let’s talk later.”  Then, walk away. You’ll be giving the other person, and yourself, the space to breathe, calm […]

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It happens to all of us. You’re cruising through your day, then suddenly something completely unexpected happens. The boss springs a new project on you, or an unforeseen crisis occurs with a customer. Anxiety amps up and angst sets in. Here are two truths to soothe your psyche. First, no one is promised a 100% […]

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Speaker and business trainer Lou Adler once said, “Good people ask good questions.” People who ask good questions see themselves as learners. They engage with a sense of curiosity, wonder and a willingness to acknowledge that they don’t know everything. Try putting this approach to use at your next meeting with a client, prospect, colleague […]

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English writer Joseph Addison was quoted as saying, “If you wish to succeed in life, make perseverance your bosom friend, experience your wise counselor, caution your elder brother, and hope your guardian genius.” Let’s look closer at this 17th century road map for getting ahead. Make perseverance your bosom friend. It can be hard to […]

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