Are you regularly late for work, for special engagements, or to pick up your kids from daycare or after-school activities? If you are and this is a chronic situation where you’re struggling to figure out why, here’s a helpful process for exploring the deeper cause of this pattern.
Start with intentional reflection.
Look for the deeper truth that comes through self-exploration. Examine your thoughts, emotions and actions to gather new self-insights. You’ll gain important information about why you do what you do, and the unconscious drivers of your behavior will become clearer to you.
Here’s how. Ask yourself these 9 questions:
- Am I late to work because I’m bored, unchallenged or angry?
- Am I dragging my de-energized, resentful, unwilling self to places I’d rather not be?
- Do I believe that working hard, even overworking, makes me more important and valuable?
- Am I pressuring myself to be perfect in the eyes of others; to fit their standards and expectations?
- Am I worrying and obsessing over how I’ll be seen and received by others?
- Is my “performance anxiety” resulting in delayed departures and arrivals?
- What message does my consistent pattern of lateness send to those affected?
- Do I really care about the impact my tardiness has on others?
- Do I allow myself to be late with certain people because they are not as important as I am?
Your responses to these 9 questions will help you become more aware of why you make choices that result in lateness. With this quality insight, you can now begin to make new, intentional choices like:
- Releasing resistance by being true to your heart-felt preferences.
- Doing more of what you really want to do versus what you feel shamed or pressured into doing.
- Letting go of your angst about failure or rejection.
- Stopping excessive doing.
- Valuing being with yourself and others in a more relaxed way.
- Demonstrating a healthy respect for yourself and others.
Through holding fast to the practices of intentional reflection and conscious choices, your pattern of lateness will become a thing of the past.