In my two previous Lies That Limit™ Blogs, we covered two very important areas – how to forgive the past and move on to a better life, and diversifying your network to build relationships that will help you grow. Although they were inspired by Black History Month, these pearls of wisdom can help any and everyone live a happier, fulfilling life.

This last LIE is tough one, but if we let it drive us, it will drive away people and opportunities.

The LIE: I need to “set them straight.” I need to get them “off my back” or “out of my face.”

The TRUTH: Emotional intelligence will set you apart. The only person who suffers when you act of out anger and self-defense is you.

Having Emotional Intelligence means being in charge of your emotions. When you feel yourself about to react, or over-react, here are ways to get grounded.

• Sit down with your back supported by a chair or against a wall. Intentionally feel your back supported, your butt against the chair, and your feet on the floor. Take 3 deep breaths. Ask yourself: what’s the best way to handle this. Giving yourself a minute or two to regain control will help you to get your emotional reaction in check, and respond intelligently. You’ll look like a real team player

• Learn how to communicate assertively and not defensively or aggressively. What’s the difference? If you feel that you “just told them,” or “set them straight,” your communication was aggressive.

• Assertive communication makes you feel good knowing that you made your point, AND you did not do it in a way that disrespected the other person or put them on the defensive.

Please share your feedback and the lessons you’ve learned that have helped you live and lead with a Spirit of Purpose™.