There are many components involved in Emotional Intelligence or EQ. One very important EQ trait is the ability to reframe your negative thinking. According to’s Zoey Miller, people with high EQ’s do this and they’re adept at helping others do it, too. Reframing is intentionally choosing a different interpretation of an event in order to experience an emotion that will lead to a more positive outcome.

Use these steps to help others reframe a negative experience.

  • Set a time to meet. Don’t let too much time pass, but allow the person to get some distance from the triggering incident.
  • Ask for the facts without editorial interpretation. This will likely be difficult, so your job is to vigilantly and respectfully re-direct their comments back to the facts.
  • Ask if there could be another explanation for what happened or what it means.
  • Finally, ask, “what’s the worse that could happen” and suggest they consider planning for that which almost never comes to pass.