You’re a control freak and you know it.  But you can’t find your way clear of this stressful, energy-stealing frame of mind. contributor Martha Beck offers 5 tips to help you get comfortable with letting go.

  • Relax your need to relax.  If you’re trying to relax, you’re not actually relaxing. Give yourself permission to be as tense as you are.  
  • Relax your attention.  Teachers, parents and bosses have conditioned us to focus hard on singular things, but widening attention and focus can actually relax us. 
  • Relax into whatever’s happening.  Stop struggling against reality.  
  • Relax the standards you can never meet. This also applies to the standards you’ve set for everyone around you.  Trust that you and others are good enough as you are.  
  • Relax your resistance to uncertainty.  There are no guarantees no matter what we do to bring about certain outcomes. By accepting uncertainty, you’ll open up a new world of possibilities.