Our Words Shape Our Self-Confidence and Ability To Achieve Our Goals

While the conversations you have with other people can be life defining, so is the monologue that runs, nonstop, in your head, all day, every day.

What you talk about with others, and your self-talk, shape your thoughts and feelings. The more you talk about a subject, the more you’re affected by the message. If you repeatedly tell others how your boss doesn’t value you, your experience of that becomes more and more true. Recounting the times you tried exercising, unsuccessfully, closes your mind to the variety of fitness options available to you.

With sufficient repetition, the stories we tell become embedded in our minds. Once there, they direct our behavior. When you put words and narrative structure to a situation, you make it real and harder to discount. If the stories are negative, they can keep you stuck in a place that doesn’t serve you well.

Notice what you talk about – with others and yourself? Do you talk about what you don’t want, or what you do want? Do you talk about situations that build up negative feelings inside of you, or ones that inspire and energize you? Do you revisit old fears or cheer yourself on for your growing courage? Do your stories focus on relationships wherein you feel devalued or the ones where you feel seen and appreciated?

Many people struggle to talk about themselves in a positive way. Self-deprecation is so deeply ingrained they don‘t feel comfortable portraying themselves in a flattering light. For them, talking about themselves in that way feels like bragging. But bragging may just be what your psyche needs to remind you that you’re capable, worthy and already accomplished.

Going forward, choose the content of your conversations with care. Opt out of discussions focused on complaints, blame and criticism. Find ways to comfortably share the good things that happened during your day. Talk about what empowers and uplifts you. That’s how you can talk yourself into a good life.


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